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Recent Movie Reviews

21 Movie Reviews

People think this is a useless review.

This is another one of these *high-score-mediocre-cartoon* type things, where everybody thinks it's good except for me, isn't it?

Because I am giving you a low score I will try to counter this by offering you a detailed review. You may not like it but so far everybody else's review has been that of awestruck shit-flakes who are still impressed by Yo-Yo's.

Graphics: Wobbly! Since the first thing we see is a rotoscoped hand playing the piano, I was then suspicious of anything in the cartoon that seemed *a bit too good*, as the bulk of the cartoon had a very amateur feel.

For example, when we see that spinning orb-thing, I thought "I bet he's traced that of something" as it seems beyond your ability to animate something as tricky looking as that and yet have such bad character animation.

The backgrounds could have used a bit more work as they seemed a bit flat looking, for example one view from the ferry was nothing more than a light blue block for the ocean and slightly darker blue block for the sky. Very pre-school!

Also, when the girl surfaces after falling into the sea, why is her outline suddenly a different colour? It felt like you were experimenting with your style, didn't like the result, then went back to the original black outlines.

I know it seems like nit-picking but it was one of a few things that made the cartoon feel really amateur - would it really have been so much trouble to go back an re-colour the lines? BE HONEST!

The style overall was nothing more than a lazy anime-throwback.

(Wait! I'm beginning to realise why the score is so high!!!1111 etc...)

Sound: The actual quality of the sound was decent but the music choices were awful. I felt as though I was stuck in an elevator listening to the Muzak loop in the background and trying to fight the urge to murder everybody else around me.

Especially the race scene! You were trying to be serious but it felt like a level of Banjo Kazooie. Not in a good way :(

Story: Cheese + Cliche = Cheche! (I've actually had to make up a word to express my dismay).

Some of the dialogue was genuinely hilarious! Like when the ferry is on fire and that guys says something like "What pretty little flames", or whatever. I actually did that thing when you laugh and the liquid you were drinking comes out of your nose.

In this case I was drinking tea.

Then there was a bizarre attempt at character development when one of the guys asks "Why do you always wear green?", to which the reply was, "Because I like green".

Eh?

I was expecting the first guy to reply "Yes, Green is nice. Can we be friends?".

The scene that really made me laugh was the aforementioned *race*. I've already mentioned the *Dukes-of-Hazard-rinky-dink* music but it was that bit when he leaps off his bike, over a bridge, winks at a fat kid and then lands back down on the bike that really left me speechless.

I wish NG did Razzie style awards because that was so cheesy it hurt!

That's the sort of thing where you'll be walking down the street many years from now and it will suddenly pop into your head and you'll start bursting out with laughter and everybody around will think that you have gone mad.

Overall: I felt that there was a lot of improvements to be made.

The animation kind-of picked up a bit towards the end but like I said, I felt suspicious after the first scene that anything *passable* was traced from elsewhere.

The story might be better if it was streamlined a bit (do we really need to know characters' favourite colours?).

Sound was decent but try to pick more appropriate music. I didn't feel it fit in with what I assume was intended to be a serious cartoon - sorry - anime.

I noticed that you said this was sponsored by NG. I don't know if that's true but if it is then please continue this series, take the cash and then put your efforts into into something more worthwhile.

If these twats will pay for it then take the money and run. But you are probably capable of something far better than this.

Good luck!

RiverJordan responds:

Just to let you know, everything in this movie was done by hand and not rotoscoped EXCEPT the hand. The hand was the only thing i couldn't make look right, but things like the orb or any other animation was all me :)

Also with the losing of the lines in water, i just felt like making her "lose her black linework" when she got wet, it wasn't necessarily being too lazy to colour, as of course i start with black linework, it was HARDER to go back and de-black the lines.

The movie has humor on purpose, I'm trying to keep it entertaining and funny and also tell a story, its not the easiest thing in the world, and yeah, stuff like the jumping over the bridge is included in that. And with Ray wearing green, he's ALWAYS worn green so i thought in case anybody was ever like "k wtf why?" then there, i've cleared that up with a bit of dialogue.

All in all though, thanks for the long review. It kinda feels like you're nit-picking a bit too much but i understand, its better than "hey i hated it 3/10"

I have read and understood the guidelines for post

I watched both parts so that I could leave a fair review.

Your drawing is really good but there is very little animation. Instead, it looks like you try to jazz things up by bringing everything into After-Effects (or some other program) and adding a tonne of bells and whistles.

The score you have got for these is VERY generous considering that each part is only about 10 seconds long, but I guess most of the fools here are voting on the effects alone and in doing so are NOT doing you any favours.

You've got some potential but if you want my advice I'd say forget about the fancy effect for the time being and concentrate on just animating.

As I said before, you can draw really well so the next step is to practice basic character animation which, ultimately, will benefit you more as an artist than relying on After-Effects to cover the cracks.

I hope this is fair.

soulty666 responds:

I get what your saying but this was my first ever animation and I did it to learn the software. I thought I'd post it to get peoples opinions on it so I appreciate your time to write a review on the toon and not the preloader.

Vacuous...

I haven't had a review deleted in a while so I thought I'd stop by to hand out some free whistle points...

First, I must applaud you on successfully implementing the Flash API ads. That was a brilliant move and surely the only reason that this thing exists. I've heard that some people have had a problem getting the ads to work but you seem to have the golden touch. Well done!

However, this is also where your talent begins and ends.

Graphics:

This is FBF at it's most primitive.
Your animation seems to consist of 2 keys and one in-between.
That means that there are a grand total of 3 (!) entire drawings per movement. Considering that the characters don't move very much before cutting to the next shot I'll estimate that the total number of drawings per 20 seconds cartoon must be less that 30.

The manic delivery of the "jokes" also invites, NAY DEMANDS, sloppy lip-syncing.

I think it's safe to assume that, in layman's terms, the animation is shit.

Story:

Okay, it's a parody so a story isn't essential but I can't recall hearing a single joke. And I don't think that violence towards women really counts.

At least you tried?

Sound:

Tomamoto is a great VA but he didn't have much to do here. Still, it was an easy gig for him and I trust you'll be sharing some of the revenue with him?
It would only be fair as he was the one redeeming factor here.
Don't be selfish.

I noticed that the sound effect were created vocally. Er... that was a joke wasn't it?

Don't be put off making cartoons though, this is the only bad review that you'll receive so just breeze through it and laugh at the sheer audacity of it all.

I would be nice to see something original from you one day because these "Awesome" 'toons are becoming tiresome- even some of your fan-base are feeling the formula wane. I suppose this is partly because the success of these things relies on children and the fans are now growing older.

Will a new generation take there place?

And more importantly, will they click on those blasted Flash ads?...

Egoraptor responds:

Thanks I implemented those ads pretty well huh.

Recent Audio Reviews

1 Audio Review

Voted 5, of course!

I loved those energetic beats beneath the mellow, tripped out tune!
Really smooth!
I'll try and get around to useing this. I'll let you know if I do.
Excellent stuff!

Rig responds:

Thanks, man! I'd love to see what you come up with!

My hobbies include spiritual love making.

Handsome Warrior @HandsomeWarrior

Age 42, Male

Bin Man / Robocop

Brighton / England

Joined on 6/24/07

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